Even though it’s only the second day, do I know I’m on the right track with this blog? In a word — yes.
Every writer’s greatest fear is writer’s block. When I found I’d reached a crossroad in my professional life, writer’s block attacked me with a vengeance. For months I struggled to get the words to flow but the battle was in vain. But … once I’d made the decision to follow my passion (to become a published author, public speaker and mentor) … my writer’s block vanished and my ability to write poured back into my heart, head and hands. Needless to say, I’m overjoyed.
Today, I enthusiastically woke up at 4 AM knowing exactly what I wanted to share with you. It’s something I’ve wanted to write about for a long time … but never have.
It’s very personal (not in an adult sort of way but rather in a-child-like-wonder sort of way). It’s about a profound experience I had when I was three years old living in my hometown of Angeles City in the Philippine Islands. It’s something I’ve seldom [if ever] put into spoken words (I may have told my husband on one occasion but I honestly can’t recall … that’s just how personal and sacred it is to me).
Sadly, four hours into the work, I hit a wrong key stroke and search as I may, I could never retrieve [or even find] the document. Poof. Lost into the ether of the universe. 🙁
As much as I’ve written over the years, this particular story defines so much of what makes me me. That said, there was a decidedly mystical quality to it that defied even my ability to comprehend.
There were powerful images and things that I could recall as if I was actually there in real-time reliving the experience (and, quite frankly, it’s been 51 years since the event happened). Though I’m sad I lost the story, I guess I never wrote about it because I didn’t think anyone could possibly believe me. If not that, then they’d pass if off to childish memories. And, maybe, just maybe, I lost the story because the timing still isn’t quite right for sharing (this scenario makes me the most comfortable with losing the work).
But, from my perspective, here’s the good news about losing today’s blog. Because of the Internet, I was able to search out the location where this event actually happened. And there, before my very eyes, was EXACTLY the scenario where my life-defining event took place, oh joy!
The three-year-old-that-was-me was, in fact, remembering the precise details just as they were. Which leads me to believe that the encounter I experienced that day absolutely happened precisely as remembered (God bless WHOEVER for inventing the Internet!). That said, the story is going to have to wait.
The window of opportunity has passed. It might beg to be written again tomorrow … or maybe even further down the road … but only time will tell. Until then, I thought I’d introduce you to the three-year-old-me that wanted to meet you today. If you should ever have a bone to pick with me, you’re going to have to take it up with her. She’s the one responsible for so much of what goes on Inside My Head.
Editor’s note and after the fact: Much to my chagrin, even the picture of Three Year Old Me refuses to be made public. Try as I might she simply won’t make an appearance. 🙁