May 9, 2012 | Posted in: Family
My oh my … it’s been a terribly long time since I stopped by to visit my blog. It’s not that I’ve stopped writing, it’s that I’ve been writing to an inner circle of friends and business partners about stuff that has to do with building a successful life and business. But always, in the back of my mind, was this little nagging voice that said, “Cindy, you started that blog with a promise to share the stuff that goes on inside your head, the stuff that might very well make a difference in how someone’s life turns out … now gosh darn it … keep your promises, or go home!” So, here I am again, with hat in hand hoping you’ll let me back in your hearts to share a story or two. The following is one of my life lessons. It might very well be something I wrote about previously, but any worthwhile lesson is worth repeating. It was prompted by a video I hope you’ll take five minutes to watch. Let’s get started.
When I was falling in love with my husband, and long before I’d ever kissed him, I was deeply attracted to his quiet strength and wisdom. I was young. He, 18 years my senior. I worked for a manufacturing company, he for one of our suppliers. I didn’t see him every day, but I must admit I’d go to work hoping I’d get a glimpse of him. His Rock of Gibraltar personality and his down home common sense just had a way of making my life better. Decades later nothing’s changed.
One of my favorite stories about him goes all the way back to 1978, when I was just 21. It’s the story of how he stopped me dead in my tracks and instantly kept me from living my life as a whiner, moaner and complainer. On one of those days when he called on my company, he quickly walked by my cubicle and without stopping said, “How are you today, Cindy?” Without a moment’s hesitation, I said, “I feel horrible! Just awful! I’ve got a terrible headache!” His reaction was the last thing I expected.
Though obviously in a rush to get to an important meeting, he stopped dead in his tracks, turned around on his heels, and making sure he had steady eye contact with me, looked straight into my heart, and said, “Cindy, when people ask you how you’re doing you need to understand they really don’t care. If you’ve got a headache, take an aspirin.” And, with that, he turned around and briskly walked away.
As for me? I was left standing there feeling like I’d just been hit with a baseball bat. That said, it was one of the most powerful lessons of my life and all these many years later, it has served me well. It’s also probably one of the main reasons I remain hopelessly in love with my husband. To that end, let me take the story one step further.
After we’d married and while we were raising our children there was no such thing as whining, moaning and complaining in our home. From the cradle, we taught our children this axiom,
“No whining. No moaning. No complaining. And if you do, you better be bleeding … and you better be bleeding profusely.”
This rule for our lives made for a home that was pretty peaceful and zen-like. It also made for a life where there were no excuses, no places to hide, no way to get out of things based on the excuse, “I don’t feel good. I’ve got a headache” (or stomachache or earache or whatever the case may be). Our kids never even tried to use one of these excuses to get out of going to school. Never. Is it any wonder I love my husband the way I do? And our children? Oh my. Like me, they will love him and honor him all the days of their lives.
I share this story with you today in order to encourage you to take a very close look at the way you’re living your life. From personal relationships to professional relationships to how you communicate with yourself, are you whining, moaning and complaining? Are you making excuses for why you’re unable to get the work done that’s necessary to build a happy and successful life? Rather than getting up and taking an aspirin, is it easier to just sit around and make everyone miserable by complaining? The only person that can answer these questions are you.
A little later, when I get a chance, I’ll tell you another incredible story about the strength and wisdom that comes from making a decision to never complain. It’s about a remarkable young man who’s recently come into my life. Until then, watch the video I’ve attached to this lesson. You’ll never be the same. You’ll never complain. You’ll never make excuses. I promise.
Your Prodigal Daughter Come Home
(And, Boss, you are the light of my life, the wind beneath my wings, my knight in shining armor. You are the beginning and the end. My alpha my omega. The man of my dreams. And I shall love you beyond my last breath. Thank you for being the man behind the woman I am today. My life would not be worth living if not for you.)